The Beauty From Within | No comments:

Darling dolls, I want you to ask yourself these 3 simple questions, think about them long and hard...

How would you describe being beautiful? 

Is your idea of beautiful different to who you are?

Do you believe you are beautiful?

The answer to these questions will undoubtedly vary depending on each person and their own opinion of themselves, but one thing should remain the same. YOU are beautiful, no matter how flawed you think you are, everyone is their own kind of beautiful. Some may feel more flawed on the outside, and more beautiful on the inside and visa versa, except it doesn't matter because beauty really does come from within. YES, YOU! Umm..yeah I am talking to you and guess what? Each and every one of you is beautiful, your idea of beautiful should be everything you are. 

Central Tel-Aviv 

I ask you to ask yourselves these questions because I have asked myself. Let me tell you, my answer now is far different to what it would have been a year ago, before I truly discovered Israel... Before, my idea of beautiful was a girl who obviously, wasn't me. I wanted to look flawless without make up, I got frustrated by my reddish complexion thanks to my fiery red hair, but more pressingly, I was constantly battling with the idea slash need to be skinny, I would say I didn't, but I really did. At one point I was working out for 2 hours a day, sometimes before and after work in London. In fact if I missed a session or didn't go, I would find myself ridden with anxiety. In times where I forgot my gym bag, I would quite simply buy a whole new outfit so that I could attend my class. The pressure to be and look a certain way is definitely present in a city so elite as London. Now whilst some may not want to admit it, I certainly will. Many of the boys are shallow, being a red head with curves, a dreamer veering on slightly mad (in the best way of course), extremely weird (and wonderful), and pretty much in love with everything that life has to offer, I simply found that most of them just wanted to be my good old friend. CUTE. I often asked myself why I was never good enough? I felt that I just wasn't pretty enough for many reasons and well all my friends are good looking and pretty damn stylish. This resulted in me constantly feeling the pressure to have more make up on, lose weight and be more beautiful. Then I moved to Israel...

BREAK YOUR #SELFIE - At GYMBOX in Covent Garden, London before making Aliyah

Since I have moved to Israel, I have realised that YES, I AM BEAUTIFUL. In fact, yes I am flawed in many ways! Some mornings, I wake up with a dreaded spot, maybe two or even 3, yes I still CANT DEAL but there really is no significance in them at all. The sunshine and salt from the sea keeps your skin fresh anyway, we are only human and hormones are a biatch. Yes, I can't resist my favourite chocolate (Kinder) and now and again I somehow (without realising...) eat the WHOLE box in one day. Did I sleep walk? Not forgetting the WHOLE jar of Nutella which I actually threw away 4 days after purchasing it - oh don't worry there was no more than 3 or four spoonfuls left in the tub. Yeah, about that, I am gluten intolerant so forget the bread, I was digging it out with a spoon like a JCB digger...no wonder I woke up with spots! I was never destined to be skinny and I get that now, I embrace my curves and work on toning my body as opposed to being 'skinny'. I am pale as fuck...they don't say I am like a doll for nothing, porcelain skin in the middle east. Honestly, I don't stand out AT ALL... Yet overall, I put on my bikini and I feel comfortable, I attend class with a touch of concealer, a swish of mascara and nothing more than my daily moisturiser on my face, far less than what I was painting on my face in London. I still bring my own sass and style with my dressing each day, of course, it's me! That part of me will never change, dressing is what I love and fashion is my passion (JK, how dare is use that phrase...no, no, but seriously it totally is). People are generally more sociable here and you definitely feel like you live in a community, as people are more inclined to talk to you, get to know you, want to get to know you! 

Yes, I am supposed to be Gluten Intollerant. YOLO

Dressing is a form of art... I might not be in London anymore, but I can still be sassy OBV.

The lift outfit SELFIE...it's becoming a thing #OOTD
That pout though - it's gotta go :P

The saying that Israeli's are rude makes me laugh, because trust me, some of them are! I mean, only the other day I found myself so frustrated in the back of a taxi, in a town FAR smaller than London, how could a taxi not understand how to get to a big street in outer Tel Aviv, I mean in London the black cab drivers know every street, nook and cranny on the map! Oh what was I saying? Yes, he was damn RUDE!

No but seriously... KATAN!!!

People are in no rush here, especially at the bank, and yes it can cause frustration at times, given I have come from a city where everything is done VERY quickly (sometimes at a cost) and let me say it isn't perfect, nowhere is! Oh and it doesn't stop there, describing that things are often 'backwards' here, certainly springs to mind. London is SO advanced as a City, There are things that come as a complete culture shock to me. The laid back lifestyle however, is not to be judged upon badly, if anything, enjoyed. This comes from someone who has been commuting to and from London every day for the past 5 years on unreliable trains, overcrowded tubes, experiencing unidentifiable and incomprehensible (woah big word alert) smells and people, trekking 100 yards in freezing cold weather and feeling miserable. OK HOLD UP! Here is the difference. In London, I was lazy, I had the tube at my fingertips and in the rain, why would you walk when you can book an Uber on your iPhone or hop on the tube? Here, in Israel, I walk EVERYWHERE! With the exception of taking buses at night time, either because I am eager to drink that cocktail or for safety reasons (no need to elaborate on a negative in such a positive post). The sun shines for most of the year, that is an automatic reason to smile more, you can be here and be proud to be Jewish, its a test to yourself, a path to finding yourself and the place to be yourself.

OH! Naughty...

Meet Rachelle, she is an absoulute diamond. We met in London at the Ambassador of Israel's house prior to making Aliyah.
We have been great friends ever since and moved out at similar times. Being half-israeli, speaking fluent Hebrew and being an absolute hoot, Rachelle has helped me settle in an incredible amount and we have become best buds since the move. Kisses to you. Toda Raba xoxo 

Studying Hebrew at a local cafe with an Iced Coffee and my darling dolls xo

PARIS! This is my friend Antoni, he made Aliyah from Paris...
I like to test out my 'school girl' french although It is less than impressive!
I sort of regret messing around in all those french lessons... OOOPS!! 

I have made friends from all over the world, this is Jackie from Istanbul, Turkey, he is too funny and a great friend.
Everyone loves Jackie boy!

Can someone please appreciate the enormity of the mosquito bite on my leg...not OK! LOL!

My slippers though...TOTAL LOVE!

I love the lifestyle here undeniably so. I am starting to settle in, gauge on the differences in culture and adapt quickly. I can honestly say I am the happiest I have been in an extremely long time. Yes, it has been hard, I mean my accommodation is beyond basic but I will save this for another rainy day - given the wannabe cyclone we experienced today, I will save this for tomorrow.

OK...so there are cats everywhere, they just chill, it is HILARIOUS. I went to chat to the couple at this bar only to be attacked by this little kitty cat MEOW! Looks like she's protective of this gent...hehe!! 

This little kitty just jumped right on up onto katie's lap...PURRRR

Be your own kind of beautiful, and be who you want to be, where you want to be with who you want to be...

So happy that I am painting my life in colours that don't even exist - I just made that up - does that work?
Who cares!
I LOVE IT

Kisses,

Bea {x}

Why move across town when you can move half way across the world? | No comments:

So it is exactly a week today that I left London to come to Israel, or to come home. Making Aliyah was a decision that came natural to me after a series of experiences within Israel that made me not only fall in love with the country, the people and the culture, but I embarked on this whole journey of self-discovery (as seen in previous post here), and well I love this version of me and I need to explore it and live it further along with everything Israel has to offer to a young Jewish girl...This will be the making of me.

This is the 3rd re-pack - the final pack.
Excluding 3 wardrobe clean-outs
I make it look easy right?

Wednesday 7th October
6:10am Luton Airport (here I go...)

So here I am standing at the El AL Check in desk with my partner in crime/BFF /father (they're all one person BTW aka Dad). Am I scared? No. Am I sad? No. Do I have excess luggage? YES. Obviously...I mean this was an absolute given considering I was expected to pack my whole entire life into 3 mere slash GINORMOUS suitcases. Its me.

IT IS 6AM. I DO NOT CARE WHAT I LOOK LIKE
FINAL SELFIE.
I LOVE YOU DAD XO.

***Time out. Please bear in mind that I have actually had to move out of my house, compact an overflowing wardrobe into 3 cases (I still recycle outfits from when I was 16), meaning I have donated around 15 bags of clothes and some to the local charity shops, god bless you all, pack all my shoes, all my bags and well...EVERYTHING. Easy for some, not for me! PS. I.AM.A.TOTAL.HOARDER. Can I just say this whole life cleanse of cleaning out my wardrobe, belongings and room has been beyond therapeutic and I feel so wonderful and SO organised.***

Uh oh... Wait one of my cases has actually exceed the HEAVIEST it can be, plus my hand luggage is too heavy. "Excuse me miss, you will need to also heck your hand luggage in". OK so here we are with an increasing bill, I now have no hand luggage and we are being charged for an extra bag, marked VIP, I take it that means Very Important Princess? JK...PFFFF. Luckily I packed a folded up duffel bag in my hand luggage...you never know, believe it or not, whilst I over pack and DO NOT pack light, I over-prepare for everything. It is exactly why I always have to much.Classic.

What if it rains? I packed an umbrella.
What if I buy loads of stuff and cant carry it or my bag breaks? I packed a duffel bag
What if I get bored? OK my hand luggage consists of 4 fashion magazines, a gluten free cookbook, a kindle, sweets, 2 notebooks, keepsakes and the list is endless. Hey, at least I am never bored (coming from the girl is so easily amused, laughs at herself and finds comfort in talking to anyone and EVERYONE)
I'm prepared.

To cut a long story short (or not) the lady at the check in desk was beyond kind, they waved the bill on the 4th bag and just charged me for the excess. Probably because I am making Aliyah...TODA RABA.


11:20am I HAVE BOARDED THE PLANE

OK, so after a very-greasy fry-up (not like I'm about to be in a bikini the next day or anything) YOLO. Wandering the shops, unlimited smiling, I have boarded the plane and I am ready to go. My best friends gave me the sweetest gifts at my leaving/birthday party, so here I have the scroll that my darling doll, Darcey wrote me ready for reading high up in the sky along with a note from George, and my Wanderlust diary from Maria. Ready for take off? YAAAAAS!

Waiting to board...

1:00pm UP IN THE AIR..SKY HIGH

I'M SOBBING. I LOVE MY FRIENDS LITERALLY. CAN'T DEAL. MY DARLING DOLLS I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.

I HAVE THE BESTEST DARLING DOLLS IN THE UNIVERSE.
I MISS YOU ALL AND LOVE YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU XO.

6:20pm Israeli Time - I HAVE ARRIVED AT BEN GURION AIRPORT, TEL-AVIV, ISRAEL

To be continued....xoxo

Israel: A New Beginning | No comments:

SHANA TOVA! As Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) descends upon us I thought I would reflect upon my year, or life, to date as I positively look forward to the new year and wonderful life ahead. As my decision to move to Israel may come as a shock to some, I invite you into understanding why it is I decided to make such a bold step, as I choose to become independent and embark upon a new beginning...

It's been over 5 months now since I returned to London after my most memorable trip of them all, my trip to Israel. To live, breathe and see everything Israel had to offer, not as a tourist but as a local, was truly a life-changing and breathtaking experience. One never to forget and one to cherish in my heart forever...so where did this leave me? I returned home to my friends and family, happy to see their faces and yet as I return to my everyday life, I am left with this empty feeling in my stomach. Something is missing. How can three weeks have SUCH an impact on me? I go on lovely holidays and have been lucky enough to see my fair share of the world at such a tender age. Yet when visiting Israel, I finally started to re-identify with my Jewish identity, I felt like I was finally living, and I started this journey to finding myself which I have left undoubtedly, unfinished...until now.

 Living such a cosmopolitan lifestyle you sometimes stretch too far from reality, which I admit I am definitely guilty of, at times. There is nothing wrong with lapping up in the lavishness of London's elite and being a fashion enthusiast and all, I can't help my love for designer clothes and expensive things, but life isn't all about that and whilst you can want for all these things, because I certainly don't have too many, there is more to be said about life than material things and whilst I know that, I now appreciate it. It is a priceless feeling, feeling humbled. I can't describe how wonderful it is because it makes you feel whole, and I need to explore it further...

Hiking through the desert and sleeping in the Ritzpe Ramon crater under the millions of stars had to be one of my biggest highlights. I remember, we were singing a silly song, a great song at that, and my friend, he just smiled at me as he clearly knew what was about to be uncovered. As I reached the peak of the steep rock face we had been climbing, we reached the clearing...and just like that it took my breath away. I don't think I have ever had my breath taken away like that, to be stunned by the beauty of our natural world. "HELLOOOOO" my voice bounces off the charred rock, echoing far, far into the distance, the world was singing back to me. So the thing is, the rock I am standing on, yeah well it has stood since before the bible was written, where cave men built their caves, the beginning of life as we know it happened right here, and there I was, just a tiny speck in this magnificently vast landscape, this is where history is written and I felt connected to the land. It isn't flooded with tourists, in fact we could see and hear no one, it was just the two of us against the world, but we weren't against it, we were part of it!

This feeling, it is something that you feel inside of you and you just can't buy it, I just can't explain it, so I hope one day you too will feel it. Travelling definitely broadens the mind, opens your eyes and OH my, my WANDERLUST is now out of control. The wonderful thing about travelling and exploring, is that in a sense, it is also a journey of self-exploration, everyone sees the world from a different perspective, your own perspective. You see it through your eyes only and how you it changes you? Well...that is something you have to explore yourself, and this is not achieved by looking at photos in glossy magazine's and pinterest y'all. You gotta do it. YOLO. So here is my message to you. Pack a bag, leave your material things at home, forget the Merc, hike, sleep under the stars, and meet people, lots, all different kinds of people, don't be shallow, be open-minded, appreciate all that happens to you and all that you see, smile, laugh, fall in love, immerse yourself in the cultures of the world and embrace life, because you only get one and these experiences are the foundations of who you become and what becomes of you.

So off I go, my choice to make Aliyah 'to return home' came naturally to me, for all of you that know me, will understand fully all the reasons why this is a choice my future (and current) self will love me for, I know if I don't do it, I will live to regret it. My story is a long one, many pieces of the puzzle lead me to make this decision, finding those pieces was not something that happened all at once, it's an accumulation of life experiences, age, my love for Israel and wanting to re-identify with my Jewish Identity. I won't leave my whole life behind, I will work hard to bridge the gaps between geography and people.

On my outbound flight to Israel from London Gatwick in February 2015, I flew solo, something I have been doing ever since I was a mere 7 years old when I would fly to Nice to stay with my oldest childhood friend, Jazzmin, in Monaco. I love travelling solo, I loved it then, and I still love it now, you are far more open to opportunity, meeting people and it urges you to take steps towards situations and people, which you may not do in a group. However, you have to immerse yourself fully, don't be shy, be independent and embrace each and every step, life is what you make it remember!

So when I travelled alone to Israel, I knew I would be fine (this is a story I am yet to tell you my darling dolls...) years of travelling alone made me enjoy it, taught me to embrace my Independence. As I took my seat upon boarding the Easy Jet plane to Tel Aviv's Ben Gurion Airport, I giggled to myself and smiled, everyone was chatting and laughing, some even debating. It was all a 'do you know so and so or this person', 'where are you from',  and to be honest due to the Jewish population being small and tight, you often find out that you do have at least one mutual connection. It was just so positively great, how could you not love it Jewish or not, it was purely positive and heart-warming. People standing in the aisles, conversations flowing, sometimes singing, people joining in here, people joining in there, kind of sounds like chaos right? A beautiful chaos! Everyone was smiling and laughing and I was fully immersed in conversation over this and that for the full journey, meeting all sorts of different people. The 4 hours turned into what felt like 1. In fact I even had coffee with a family on the plane at the other end after retrieving our luggage, after nattering away, it only seemed sense to continue! In all my years of travelling alone, as an observant child, travelling all over, I had never been exposed to such a sense of community between complete and utter strangers, it is beautiful! You certainly don't get that on the London Underground!

Israel as a whole is one big community, one that thrives off a shared feeling of acceptance and love for everyone who comes together in Israel, Jews from all over the world come together as one, given all that is in the world, it is an overwhelming feeling. Walking off the plane and being proud to be Jewish and to wear my Star of David necklace with pride, not fear, was and is a wonderful feeling, one you can't quite grasp in London or anywhere else in the world for that matter. I last left Israel in March, as I stared out the window from my window seat on the plane, tears were streaming down my face, my journey hadn't finished and will be continued...

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."